allekha: (Default)
So, I think I can do this without crying, now.

Last Friday we took Wisp to a vet cardiologist. It was a fairly peaceful ride, once Wisp figured that it was best to stay by my feet instead of trying to climb up and look out the window and get rocked all over the place...

There was a pretty fishtank in the waiting room. I carried Wisp over, thinking he would like it, but the fish didn't really seem to catch his attention for whatever reason. So we sat down to wait. Wisp got settled down. We read.

On the way to the exam room the assistant measured his weight, even though he was just weighed yesterday... 11 pounds something, much better...

We got to the exam room and answered some questions. The assistant said to count his breathing at home, even though I had been to make sure he was under the limit the bet had told us about, thirty breaths a minute, but she wanted me to write them down. Turns out we didn't need that form...

We waited some more. The cardiologist came in, and there was probably some more talking and then he started the ultrasound. ...even I could tell it was really bad, just from looking at it. I'll cut a little description short, the cardiologist said that if he was a human, he would basically need a heart transplant, listed maybe five different conditions that described Wisp's heart, and said that it had failed. Not even failing. Completely failed.

"So how's he still alive?" asked my dad. The cardiologist waved his arms around his head. Some up there, maybe. Basically, Wisp should not have still been alive. I think he said that it was only his blood pressure keeping things going.

We were given three options. Admit Wisp to the hospital to drain the fluid that was building up again and give him drugs, try him on drugs for a few days, or put him to sleep. already know what we chose.

Wisp was actively suffering. He wasn't going to get better again. Even if they did absolutely everything, it wouldn't restore that much heart function, and he would be in pain, not to mention it would cost money.

We called my mom to confirm that yes, the three of us were in agreement. I started crying. I didn't want Wisp to die. But more than that, I didn't want him to be in pain.

If the ground wasn't frozen we would have taken his body home and buried him in the woods, since he loved them. But it was (is) so we chose to get him cremated. A body isn't really important, anyway.

We were given some time alone with him in a more clear room, and I took some pictures of him with my phone. My dad took a couple of me holding him. Maybe I'll post those tomorrow or something...

Eventually they came to take him back to put in a catheter. My dad and I both did a lot of crying. Even my normally stoic dad... I kept thinking random things, like I was glad that this had happened today because that day I had had a test, and the next day I wouldn't have to go to school. Wondering if this was anything like my dad had gone through with Twinkle, his mostly-Siamese childhood cat. (Turned out, no, his parents took her in because she was sick, and came back and said that she was gone.)

At some point someone stopped by to say they were having trouble getting the catheter in, and asked if we would be okay giving him a sedative. She asked because he was so badly off, there was a chance it would kill him. Thankfully he relaxed and they were able to get it in.

They brought him back in and the other vet was supposed to come in right away, but we ended up having to wait. It was painful to see Wisp try to walk with the bandages on his legs, so my dad held him on his lap and we just petted him.

Eventually she came in. Saline water, worked. Relaxant, worked. More saline to flush it.

Then she stuck in the last needle. I remember it was a deep pink color. She started pushing it in. My dad started crying again, and a moment later I started crying again, and we kept petting him as the vet listened for a heartbeat to confirm that he had passed on.

His eyes had been closed. When she carried him to the table to wrap him in a blanket to wrap him up his eyes opened for a moment and I had to look away. They look so creepy and empty, like a doll's eyes. Not like Wisp's eyes.

I pet his neck for a few moments, right before she carried him out. I couldn't see his eyes. His body was still warm, his fur was still so soft. I still remember the feel of that fur.

Then we left. The sun was setting on the ride home. I called my mom to let her know.

At least he went as happy as he could, in that situation, not in the middle of the night when we were all sleeping, or something.

I've been crying for most of writing this.

It's amazing how empty this house can feel with just one cat missing. I keep thinking about the things he's never going to do again. I don't know if Starlight understands anything about his being gone. I don't know, she seems a little lonely. The people at our regular vet sent us a plant. It's still sitting up on the microwave where he used to sit.

Sorry if this gets a little weird in parts, I'm still really upset.
allekha: (Default)
I don't want to write the whole story right now.

We just had to put Wisp to sleep. He went in my dad's lap while we were both petting him. He was in a lot of pain and it was a miracle he was still alive. If he went somewhere, I'm sure he's much happier now.

I'll just record the time here:

At a little before 5 PM EST, on Friday, January 14, 2011, Wisp went to sleep for the last time.

Rest in peace, boy.
allekha: (Default)
So, update of Wisp situation...

So we went back to the vet today for Starlight's usual check-up and Wisp's return check-up. A different vet saw them this time. Starlight was fine. Wisp, though...

The arrhythmia got a lot worse. The vet was very concerned when he heard it, and he said we should go take Wisp to the cardiologist. He went out to get another vet while we stood around and talked a bit about it - my dad was sort of reluctant to do so, being under the impression that the previous doctor had given us that there wasn't much to do. The second vet came in and was also pretty concerned.

It turns out that there are different medications that one can give depending on the exact cause of the arrhythmia, and whatever Wisp was getting wasn't really helping, and depending on what the cardiologist discovered it could be really helpful to give him something else. The first vet reassured us that he was pretty pragmatic about testing and wouldn't be suggesting this to us if he didn't think it would help, and both of them were saying that if this was their cat they would take Wisp in right away.

So the first vet left to go check the new blood test results and the x rays and the second to go see if the cardiologist we were being referred to was in. We talked some more... I was petting Wisp on his neck and found his pulse point by accident, and it really freaked me out - it was really random. It reminded me for some reason of a hard drive light when the computer is doing something - it did not feel like a heart beat at all.

We got an appointment for three tomorrow, they'll do an ultrasound on his heart and see if they can't determine the cause. The vet listed a couple of things it might be, I don't remember their names, but he did mention that it could be something pressing up against the heart... Anyway, we'll see what it is and if there's anything that can be done to bring the arrhythmia under control because it's really bad.
allekha: (Default)
This all happened almost a week ago, last Thursday, but I wanted to wait until we got some test results to write this up.

My cat Wisp had been acting kind of strange. He wasn't eating as much as he should and he was drinking a lot more water, or at least following us to a sink to watch it stream from the faucet. Because he wasn't eating he felt skinnier, and he wasn't exactly plump beforehand. So, we took him to the vet.

He had in fact lost a pound, and he was acting unusually passive, we noticed. The vet noted that he seemed to have some sort of fluid in his belly - though she wasn't sure, since it could just be it feeling big compared to the rest of his skinny self - and then she listened to his heart and heard arrhythmia.

They did some quick bloodwork and took him to get an ultrasound while I read a book and waited and my dad went to his appointment to get the car's tires changed.

When the vet came out, she told me that his heart was enlarged and that there was in fact fluid in his belly. I think she said that she had drained some of it already but I can't quite remember. When she called my dad he wanted to speak to me and he gave me a little more information. Basically, that Wisp might die soon.

...I nearly started crying right there.

My dad authorized more tests to find out what exactly was wrong with him - an x-ray, and I don't remember if there was something else. I went back to the waiting room to wait and read. Some time after my dad came back the vet called us in again.

She said that Wisp was in heart failure. that was why he had fluid in his abdomen, which was why he wasn't eating because it made him uncomfortable. She gave three possible causes for this: thyroid problem, heartworm, and it being congenital (she mentioned that whatever the specific condition is rare in cats but more common in Maine Coons, and that he looks like he has some in him). Thyroid, heartworm, there's medication for that, but I don't know if there's much they can do if it's congenital. They sent out to another lab for those tests. Meanwhile, we could take him home.

The scariest part was when she said that if he started breathing really hard, or if he started open-mouth breathing, to bring him in right away because that means he has fluid in his lungs and he can't breathe, and that's a horrible way to die. My dad started tearing up at that. He never cries. That's how my mother's mother died, just before I was born...

We were given pills to give him and told to encourage him to eat. A followup in a week.

Back home, we tried over the evening to give him canned food, smoked salmon, 'cat milk', even cheese. I did some reading on the internet about how to encourage cats to eat and tried warming things up. I tried giving him catnip. Wisp wouldn't have any of it. Just before I went to bed he had a little bit of the canned food, and I got a little catmilk in him, but that was it.

Next day, Friday, on the way back from picking me up from my linguistics class, we stopped to pick up some other food to try, regular salmon and tuna and baby food (checked to have no onions). I got him to have a few spoonfuls of the baby food when we got home, and every hour or so I shoved more at him. Usually he would have a spoonful, more often two, sometimes three. Got a whole jar into him, and a bit of another.

Starting the next day, he became midly more energetic and more hungry - he would eat canned food in small amounts at a time. It's been getting a little better every day - now he comes into the kitchen every couple of hours and stands around for us to feed him. He usually eats several cans of food, and although he still lays at this same spot most of the day - this one at the top of the stairs, he's never especially slept there before - he walks around more. Fights more, too, when I give him his pills if I don't do it quickly enough.

I said at the beginning of this I was waiting for test results. On Friday, we got a call that the thyroid test came back negative. Today, the heartworm test came back negative as well.

I don't really want to write anymore so I'll stop there.
allekha: (Default)
Whisp did something adorable earlier: while me and my dad were watching the geometry lecture of the day (he explains a lot of stuff) Whisp started watching the tv. Seriously. After a couple of minutes, he reached up and pawed at something. He wandered off disinterestedly after finding nothing there.

Also during the lesson, I had a total 'Avatar fan' moment. The video was paused and my dad was talking about something. On the screen was a circle with two chords.

"That looks like Katara's hair loopies."
allekha: (Default)
Aww. Whisp slept next to me until one thirty in the morning last night.

Yesterday I heard something on the news which reminds me of something I though while watching this program about technology for the enviroment or something like that.

"If there's a drought, it's blamed on global warming, if it snows it's blamed on global warming, if it's hot it's blamed on global warming, if it's cold it's blamed on global warming..."
allekha: (Default)
Whisp's new favorite sleeping place is the red/black quilt on my bed. He's been on there for more than half the day for the past few days, and part of the nights. But I don't mind, he's too fluffy and Whispish for that.

Also, I've started a new neighborhood in the Sims 2, for Avatar characters... and Chihiro, her parents, and Haku.


Apr. 9th, 2006 06:08 am
allekha: (Default)
I need to work on my book. But lately I haven't felt like writing a whole much. The most I added last time was a few sentences as I copied it from one writing program to another. *note to self: feel like writing soon*

I have a good idea for a picture, but I'll wait until dad's up. 'Tis 6 am here.

Yesterday and the day before, I played some Zoo Tycoon 2. Twas fun.

And now what I really want to say:

Kitty Whisper slept on my bed last night! He hasn't done that since like a little while after we brought him home! It was kind of awkward sleeping, but who cares, b-e-c-a-u-s-e Whisp slept at my feet last night(between my feet for awhile) for a whole SEVEN hours! For eleven pm when I brought him in 'cause he wanted petting then stayed, till when I got up and he decided to follow me. (*sings 'at six a-M'*)

Yeah. Wow, I'm hyper...


allekha: (Default)

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